Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Game Dev Tycoon and Piracy

Official Data from GreenHeartGames.com
Sitting here staring at these numbers for the percent of people who pirated Game Dev Tycoon as opposed to buying it is both alarming and appalling.

The general sentiment amongst pirates is usually that you pirate because it's a big company doing evil things that you disagree with. If not that reason then it's because you have no other way to get the game. We all know what we're getting into when we snag a stolen copy of something and we know who it effects -- the game publishers and developers.

Then there is this travesty. A small indie game developed by some actually pretty rad dudes. The developers and publishers are one in the same in this case, a pair of brothers. They put the game out for a reasonable $8, or $7.99 to be more accurate, and even put out a pretty banging demo. After that, mostly to see who was actually paying for the game, they even released the game fully cracked on some pirate sites, not that it had any DRM anyway. The cracked version had a different meta data name than the paid version, which is how they got this data. Nearly 95% of everyone playing this game stole it from a tiny developer who cannot afford these losses. That's low.

A day in the life of Game Dev Tycoon
Piracy is nothing new and hardly novel. Discussing it is practically moot as, as stated before, everyone is familiar with the consequences of piracy and have stated that they don't care by continuing to do so for their own reasons. While pirates are familiar with the dangers of piracy to themselves, they perhaps don't think about the dangers of piracy to companies though. Ya, big publishers aren't going to be hurting from your actions but small companies will be. These start-ups are how gamers escape the use of damaging and invasive DRM, terrible pay-to-win games, and the ever growing $5,000 to play facebook games. They do not thrive from the thousands of people who might play their game, they thrive by selling the game to you.

It is not too late, of course. People can still go out there and buy games like Game Dev Tycoon. If you don't, no one is going to break down your door and scream at you. An indie company that tried to give gamers something that they wanted will just go under. That's all.

If you're not familiar with any of this mess then you should check Game Dev Tycoon out because it's pretty spiffy.
http://www.greenheartgames.com/game-dev-tycoon-free-full-torrent-cracked-download/

Note: The above link is not to a cracked version of the game.

Monday, April 29, 2013

I Bit Into Ice and Social Ills

I bit into ice and I didn't recoil or cringe. It wasn't painful or shocking. It's the little luxuries that you never thought about that hit you the hardest when you escape poverty. My teeth were always so sensitive from cavities that I couldn't really touch ice to them without drilling pain into myself.

Are there really people out there that can afford to go to a dentist whenever there's a problem? Did they really grow up being able to bite into ice?

In America we don't even think about it. Perhaps we've spent so long thinking about other things so we don't have to face the truth, that it is entirely natural for us to just let these things go. We don't think about the last time we went to the dentist or the doctor. We don't like to remember that it's the prohibitive cost that keeps us away. What we do like to do is create problems to get our minds off of things. Meaningless things that are easier to think about than social ills.

A country is only as rich as its poorest people. America is a very poor nation. We just don't like to think about it. We don't like to think about the little luxuries and instead cling to what we do have. It's easier that way.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Fandom

Fandom emerges when there is love of a story, of art, of music, of any form of expression. That love will change, shift, and become its own creature over time, deviating from its origin. It is then that fascinations begin. These fascinations start out slowly and creep their way into the logic of the fandom.

It is so easy to justify the small things. "I love this character," becomes more important than a plot point. Well, that's okay, there are lots of other plot points. "This band is so popular I love them, though I haven't listened to the music yet," the words pang against your inner senses but you bend a bit to allow it. At least they might start listening to the songs now that they like the band.

Then it turns dark. "I love this character so much, he's such a helpless baby!" The fandom cries about the megalomaniac who heartlessly terrorizes the innocent. "Oh my god, this song is so cute, I made a pony remix of it!" And that grunge metal song then had a pony remix. "Look at this art, it's so amazing I'm going to invert the colors and put a cat in it." Then Picasso had a cat, I guess.

Soon the story, music, art, or whatever else is irrelevant. The fandom is an incestuous pit of ideas loosely torn from these concepts, eaten up, regurgitated, and then feasted upon again. It has reached the point where there is virtually no connection to the source material any more.

Unfortunately your logic is still distorted from before. You accept a lot of material that you would otherwise question. The fandom accepts a lot of material that it should otherwise detest. Your standards have lowered.

The only question then is do you stay in this mess of a community and join into the cesspool or do you go back to the source material that you loved? It's a bit of a loaded question, I admit, but it's an honest to goodness question. There is no right answer, merely going where you will be happier. Sometimes the story was just the start, as the end of the book likes to tell you. You should probably avoid those who don't agree with your answer though, to save each other both a lot of headache.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Perhaps ch2

Chapter 2



In another world, another time, one that gleamed of rubies or sapphires, one that was laden with silver there would have been another ending to this story; another world where rich, powerful men did rich, powerful things. In this world there was only X.

X clawed at his cage with the little strength that he had left. He felt betrayed to his core. The king whom he had sworn absolute loyalty to had abandoned him in a heartbeat. Every ounce of courage, determination, and respect that was in X had been given to that man. Now he clawed at his cage, scooping up the last of the crumbs that he could find. They were dry and harder than rocks but they were something where he otherwise had nothing.

Hunger and thirst were now his bed partners. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he was just left to rot but they kept him alive and active. X was forced to dance and juggle for that bastard when he could hardly stand under his own power. This kept him hungry and suffering. It had been four months now and he was desperate. The thought of death was such a welcoming one; to end all of this torment was equal to bliss at this point. It was so much so that the lives of his family were insignificant compared to this. His resolve never let him die though. He stayed alive in captivity far beyond when other men would have been broken. He held what little spit he had left in him back when he saw Charles knowing the consequences of dribbling on that man.

The mask that was soldered onto X’s face covered his mouth. Slipping food in was no easy task. There was just enough of a hole in the bottom that he could wedge small pieces in and slide them through the steel wires where he might choke on them. Every taste was painful without a tongue but it kept him nourished enough to keep going.

In the months that passed X learned to juggle with his decrepit body and failing health. He taught himself to stand again and where his ligaments failed him he reinforced his bones with his own mental powers. They were faint and weak at times, so he did his best not to stand when he could. By all means he was actually a skilled performer by the time that Charles grew tired of him.

Charles was a man with no taste for mercy. Everything needed to be calculated. Every move needed to resonate with his genius for he needed to be powerful. It was his birthright to be ruler, though he was not born of royal blood. His birthright came from his willpower. He was determined and he knew the weaknesses of men. He knew how to inspire them and how to break them. The humiliation of one murderer is enough to gain the absolute loyalty of an army. It just needs to be the right murderer.

For many years Charles had lived in a small town, too young to act of his own accord but too big of a thinker to be content with that. Whenever he could, he wished to test his limits and the limits of others. He would secretly abuse the other children until they broke and then he waited to see how they broke. First he wanted to see the effects of physical abuse. When you beat someone to within an inch of their life they will do anything and believe anything. No matter who it was, it was just a matter of how many bones to break and how deep the lacerations needed to be to achieve this. They’ll promise the world and even sometimes come through with it. It was an inconsistent means of getting what you want though. The adults would find out and punish you. There would be a great amount of sympathy for the beaten child and anything that you did gain was taken away. It was miserable.

The next option was an emotional play. Charles would harass and belittle the other children until they could take no more. He would strip them of their friends with nasty lies and rumors, belittle them before their parents, and verbally abuse them whenever he had the chance. Threats kept them in place. Here the problem was the death rates. If you break a man too much then he kills himself. Charles had pushed a little girl just a bit too far when he learned this. She broke. The light left her eyes. She walked off of a bridge without hesitation. This was useful to Charles but it also did not give him what he wanted. He wanted to be a ruler and dead men weren’t worth ruling over. God that was exhilarating though.

It took five weeks of abuse. First he hurt her subtly. He began to cut her and bleed her. She had to promise to tell no one. He made her believe that this was right and necessary, that she was doing a good thing. Then he told on her, told her parents she was hurting herself. Word spread like wildfire that she was crazy and trying to summon monsters. No one would believe the stories that she spun to them as she tried to create a web of lies to escape from this nightmare. Next he spread rumors to her friends. He shared his candies and sweet words with them but only if they stopped associating with the creepy girl. When they teased her, he gave them more. Then there was no one for her. She was alone. Three weeks of absolute loneliness and taunting was all it took for her to kill herself. Those were perhaps the three most fun weeks of Charles’s life.

Finally he began to manipulate men socially. Where there was no desperation he would make desperation before and when the dust settled he would offer them an out. Not everyone would be given an opportunity of course. Those that were given more were the most loyal only if they were above other men that they thought were less worthy than them. Charles learned this through a trial of fire.

He burned and stole everything he could from his neighbors one night. The poor couple lost their daughter in the fire as well as their worldly possessions. Charles continued to rob them of their dignity by shaming them for letting their daughter die. Publicly and privately he harassed them and made them feel like the entire community was against them. Soon he turned them against their friends and well-wishers until no one was left. Lies and words are some of the most powerful weapons one can have. Through their trials they persevered but grew bitter of those that turned their backs on them. The next test needed to be whether he could supplant himself as the one and only friend. He could. He did. Charles could take anything from them then. He could rule.

Soon he was old enough to do as he pleased and the adults and the authorities no longer mattered to him. Charles went around them and began larger experiments. The most efficient means of desperation was poverty and sickness, so he spread diseases and tainted wells. Any money that he had went to hire men to act as bandits to cut off any relief. When things were grimmest he would step in and offer not the cure but an alternative. A way to get even with those that had abandoned them. He created a problem and thus a need for him. Time and time again he proved he could care for these people where no one else could.

It was only a matter of time before X broke from the torture that Charles put him through. Unfortunately, that was unacceptable. As powerful and accomplished as X was, he had too much loyalty to the former king. Even if he was made loyal now and his body miraculously repaired, he would be a liability that Charles could not risk. Instead he would be a pawn. The boy, X, would be sent to the south as a token of lasting peace. If the accounts were true then X had killed thousands of men on the battlefield. Some say his fury was beyond even that. He’d be tried as a war criminal and put to death. Even if they wanted to salvage him there wasn’t much left to salvage. This token would continue to buy Charles time to consolidate his newly acquired resources.

X was loaded into his next cage. It was dingy, small, and smelled of fear. Eerily it was a step up from the cell that he had been living it. No food provisions were provided for him, “You’ll have to beg for anything to eat dog.” He was told. The ounces and scraps of pride that X had left wouldn’t allow it. The men guarding him were not the soldiers he had grown up knowing. They had not fought any hard battles and they did not work towards the good of their nation. Instead, these guards were absolutely loyal to a wretched man and they had a grudge against him.

Forcing the crumbs from under his nails, where they had stuck fast in his desperation over the last few months, X was able to lure vermin and bugs to him. They made a richer meal than he had been used to for quite awhile. At the very least they were enough to sustain him until he reached wherever he was going. No matter what, he needed to survive and endure so that his family would be alright. Amazingly Charles had not killed them yet, if only because of how insignificant their deaths would be.

Day dawned on X for the first time in a long time. While he was being shipped off to who knows where, he thought of many things. Was he really just X now? Francois Tulavont was actually a rather marvelous name and he would miss it. The man he was most loyal to though, his sovereign, had stripped him of it. One day he would earn the name back but until then, he would respect that he was truly no longer a person in the eyes of his country.

His next thoughts were of how he was going to escape. It was difficult to formulate proper thoughts and keep them when so malnourished though he did his best regardless. Survival was mostly likely if he could escape and repair himself. It’d be better if he could kill the guards too but that was unlikely. Perhaps a smoke screen that would make it appear as if he had died? No matter what plan he went with, it would be complicated if he intended to keep his family alive and escape successfully.

The cage around him wasn’t much of a cage at all. The steel was firm and the bars tight but it still had a lock. Within moments of being thrown in there he had groped it with his mind. The lock and its mechanism were already intimate with him. In a moment he could slip it open and crawl away with any strength he could muster. Now just would be the right moment.

With bated breath X waited for that perfect moment to emerge. Something drastic needed to happen that he might egress into the shelter of a nearby forest. It needed to be a forest that he might dig himself in. It wouldn’t take long to catch him and find him otherwise. The trail that he would undoubtedly leave he could cover up and mislead with, with only a push of wind. Once he had a hole to hide in he would be in the clear. The last part of the puzzle was finding some way to make it seem like he hadn’t escaped and was instead kidnapped or killed.

Through the fields and mountains he schemed away. Rivers crossed and moons rose and set. Soon the arid lands of the south were upon them and the last forests they would see would be soon. Years ago a magical taint had grown in the south. It shifted the dirt and grew mountains and volcanoes where there had been only fields before. A desert woke in the presence of these new elements and this land was known as the cursed land.

Here children were born with magical corruptions much like X. Most were physical and they were put to death as monstrosities. Sometimes it was horns or extra limbs, other times it was writing on their body that spoke of evil things. Assumedly, if they were left to grow they would have begun to manifest abilities as X had. It was doubtful that they would make much use of them though. If the old stories were to be believed, the first people who grew up in such conditions manifested magical abilities that defied logical convention. They were mighty in what they could do and in exchange made sacrifices to the dark gods that fed them. When they were tested against trained combatants though, they were pathetic. Yes they did have much power, some spouting fire and others growing stones like flowers, but they were not men of mettle. Their abilities granted them no boons when they were met with steel. As far as X was concerned, he was one of a kind.

Sordid sands sifted sinfully scalding sore sinew. Any strength that was still in X needed to be steeled now that he might make his escape attempt when they saw green again over the rusty yellow dunes. He breathed nervously, ready to test his luck. Luck was a commodity that he had precious little of but he intended to spend it all here on this gamble.

And then something that he never thought would happen destroyed his plan with an eruption.

“How dare you whip my horse!” A voice that had gargled brimstone spouted like thunder.

As the voice echoed the guards replied in whatever bravado they could muster. They spouted about their importance, “If you stand in our way you declare war on the northern lands,” they protested any action against them. X had heard this kind of voice before. Perhaps it did not carry the same frightening weight but it was a commanding voice of a father caring for his child. Someone had just done something very stupid.

Stupid could not be reiterated enough as spikes of fire erupted around them turning the sand to glass. For a moment X could see his visage. He looked broken. To anyone who could not hear his thoughts he must have looked absolutely pathetic. Just as the simulacrum was birthed in the glass it was shattered into a thousand pieces as molten stones clashed against it. Wait. Those weren’t stones. Very carefully X examined a few fragments that sputtered into and around his cage. These were parts of a human skull; probably one of the guards.

No wonder there wasn’t visceral screaming or tearing. Whoever was doing this was collapsing these men with the same unholy powers that X himself contained. Perhaps theirs were even mightier than his. Not that his were truly splendid, to be honest. He could exert a small force on the outside world with his mind. Whoever was doing this just turned the desert into glass.

Then he saw him. Her? It. Whoever was doing all of the killing appeared to be done. They rode atop a giant flaming steed which spat flames when it neighed. It neighed a lot, even for a horse. The rider was clearly insane, dressed head to toe in deep red plate armor, slightly adorned with robes in the desert. It was when they finally spoke without that maligned anger in their voice that X was finally able to pin them. The rider was a she and she had just killed his captors.

For months X had clawed at his cage to scrounge for scraps. For days he had clawed at his head to help him think and concentrate. Now he clawed at his bars that he might escape away from this creature.

As the last of the blood on her broadsword burned away she took notice of the man dressed as a jester locked in a cage. Even through his baggy clothes she could see his bones. Perhaps he was a slave. It was unlikely that anyone traveling with the guards would be this emaciated or locked in a cage. With the hilt of her sword she smashed the lock on his cage open.

“You are free. Be gone.” She said not realizing that he probably couldn’t walk and they were deep within the desert.

X inched his way out of his cage and into freedom. When the woman and her horse turned to leave he made the only sound that he could to grab her attention. It was a mumbled gurgle as a plea for help. Neither the woman nor her horse recognized it. It wasn’t until there was an unpleasant chill in the air that someone recognized his grief. A man dressed in rags beside something clad in the thickest blue armor he had ever seen. The man in rags lifted X up and quickly examined him.

“His arms no longer have full function. His legs may not function at all. At the very least his feet are shattered. Possible cracked ribs that have healed improperly. How are you alive?” The man in rags stopped, “No matter. We should bring him with us so he doesn’t die here. No point in rescuing a slave if all you’re going to do is kill him with the elements.”

The woman in red disagreed, “You’re too sentimental. We cannot care for everyone.”
The man in rags gave a disgusted sound, “Then why are we traveling at all? We save everyone. If not everyone, then everyone we can. You promised me. You promised me you were nothing like the heartless demons.”

There was a moment of silence where X held his breath. This determined if he lived or died. “You talk too much. Fine.” She said, dismounting from her flaming horse. The ragged man lifted X onto it and to X’s surprise he wasn’t burnt to a crisp. Instead, the horse felt rather cool, as if it was siphoning heat from him. Perhaps it fed on the warmth around it? That wouldn’t explain its physiology or the fact that it probably didn’t have physiology and was just fire in the shape of a horse; things that didn’t matter right now.

Happy sighs escaped X. He finally had time to think about things that didn’t matter. It had been so long since he could think like these. Even if everyone moment he lived from this moment was in peril, he would cherish these few thoughts.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Date Night

You're stupid.
I like that in a girl.

Oh, you like science?
How boring.

You're too dumb for math,
Pick another major.

College?
But you're a girl.
You won't be working anyway.

That's too manly for you,
You should find another job.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Castlevania


Stage 10 Hard Mode
I beat Retro Grim Reaper.
Yes!
Yes yes yes!
Oh there was a scythe behind me.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Guilty


There’s a feeling of guilt in the back of your mind when you’re hungry. Not just ‘missed dinner’ hungry but ‘if I buy groceries I can’t pay rent’ hungry. It’s a despicable feeling and you hate yourself for it. How could you let yourself get here? Why can’t you afford the basic necessities of your daily life? Worst of all you’re just so hungry that you desperately cling to your last dollars trying not to buy food so that you have somewhere to sleep next month. It’s a horrifying existence. It’s an existence that 58.5% of Americans know. That is a sad, miserable number. That’s a guilty number but they shouldn’t be the ones feeling guilty.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Mabinogi Music Skills



So while I work on pictures for the puppetry guide, by which I mean 'get some poor sap to sit there while I trip them with my wires over and over again until we find the maximum distances for attacks', Mabi has been getting some updates.

They're not out yet but they look good.

For those that aren't familiar with the combat redesigns, there were going to be a lot of changes to the fundamental combat mechanics of Mabi. The goal seemed to be to make stats relevant where they were no longer. Lets face facts here, minimum damage and balance stopped mattering when you realized how easy it was to get 300+ dex.

These changes inevitably nerf Fighters, make Alchemists less terrible, and rebalance Melee, Lancers, Mages, Archers, and Puppeteers. In my opinion Puppeteers got the better end of the deal out of everyone but we'll see when the actual update comes out.

The one skill set that is unanimously agreed upon to be crapped on is Music. The rebalance cut out music buff and instead just changed that to extra duration. That is crippling for Bards.

This new update is a music based one though. Bards are getting a few new skills that look superb. These include Sing, Chorus, and Encore. Sing lets you use a Microphone, a new musical instrument, and r5+ it looks like it lets you use the skill without having an instrument equipped. Chorus increases Play Instrument success rate, performance effect, and even reduces cool downs. Encore looks to be the least useful of all of the skills because it resets musical cooldowns but were there any musical cooldowns that really needed to be reset anyway?

Taken from manaherb.tumblr.com
Sing especially looks like it will open up bard skills to everyone as you don't need to be bogged down by a bulky instrument to pull off a quick buff to whatever you're doing. The number of dedicated bards is unlikely to decrease due to just how good moves like Dischord are but this will definitely open music up to a lot more play styles.

Souce: MabiData

I Once Had A Cat

I once had a cat who liked to use people as launch pads. He would extend his claws and dig into you for traction so that he could egress from unknown dangers in the night such as creaks and yawns. This was problematic.

He once slept on my sister’s face when a tree brushed against the window.

I once had a cat.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Milquetoast

When you take a story or show and remake it, you are doing something that inherently violates people. You are taking their memories, attachments, and a part of their life and saying that it’s old and no longer belongs to them.

Normally these concerns are quelled when this new thing fills the place of the old and both have a place in the heart of a person. Unfortunately, it is becoming more and more common to take that thing and say, ‘I can make more money by selling it to these people instead of you.’

Now their memories, attachments, and history are thrashed. The characters they once loved are someone else entirely wearing the simulacrum. The stories are twisted and changed away from the comfortable lines they once drew. The history that was fondly buried is now dug up and put on parade in its necrotic state.

You’re disrespecting them and violating them. If you are doing this out of love for the story and characters, then I wish you well. If you’re doing this for money, you are a bad person.

Teen Titans GO! I’m looking at you.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

I'm Sick

My head has a sweet, sullen throb
My fever burns with a fervor
I’m a hot mess but not of the sexy kind

She tells me I’m still beautiful
She is squiggly lines that rhyme
I try to thank her
I babble

I’m helplessly wrapped up in blankets
I’m helpless
Help
Less

The words are now funny to me
As they recant their histories before my eyes

Why does my headache taste sweet

There is a bowl of chicken soup
And then it is morning

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Good Morning

I stir, roused by some incomprehensible part of my mind. My joints ache, my eyes water. I am neither sad nor tired as I wipe away a tear that slides down my face.

I stir, roused by some incomprehensible part of this tea. I slide a cracker off of a plate and put a sprinkling of cheese on it. Why does everyone only talk about sliced bread? Sliced cheese is a pretty amazing thing too. I only have shredded.

Good Morning, I idly say to the television screen.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Cats are like Wizards, They Lack Morals

Paw paw paw
Your eyelids feel like the comforter
Soft, warm, welcoming
Ah I am sleepy

Let me just stretch as I paw
Scratch Scratch
Scratchhhhhhhh
I drag down
So soft, warm, and welcoming

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Sex Talk

Pictured: A Distraught Cat, Source Unknown
I think that a lifetime of growing up as a person who is relatively open to the world about my sexual habits and interests has dispelled many of the common myths that like to permeate through high schools, colleges, and households of the modern day. There are these strange stereotypes that many of us have accepted that just aren’t true: women rarely actually want sex, if there isn’t an orgasm then it was bad sex, men are always horny, every man wants to rape you, girls tease you to get what they want, if you’re in the friendzone then you can never get the girl, guys need to be tamed. Lies told from an egocentric worldview.

The first lie that we’re going to tackle is that women rarely want to have sex. From a scientific standpoint, this potentially has some validity as women have less testosterone than men on average and thus have a lower libido. In reality you do not need to have a pair of gonads squeezing testosterone through your system to enjoy sex. It’s pleasurable. Humans want sex. If something is good and pleasurable then people will want it. To say that women never really want sex is to say that your sexual partners in the past haven’t been very sexually active and potentially disliked having sex with you because the sex was bad. Otherwise? Humans like sex.

Orgasms are supposed to be a benchmark of successful recreational sex. I mean, they feel great, don’t they? If you’re not getting your partner to orgasm during sex then you must be bad at it and they aren’t going to enjoy the sex, right? Na. Orgasms are great but just the act of having sex is pretty enjoyable. I mean, do you masturbate solely for the purpose of getting off or does it feel pretty good along the way too? You also don’t have to have an orgasm right away. I’ve come under the impression that you sabotage yourself if you race to make yourself or your partner orgasm and fall into despair if you fail on either front. It’s cool. Have as much fun as you both possibly can and if you didn’t orgasm or they didn’t orgasm, then take care of it afterwards. Heck, maybe they can even give you a hand. There’s a good chance that they know how to get their rocks off and you know how to get yours off.

Gosh, going through grade school and into college there was this myth perpetuated that men are always horny and want to sleep with everyone and anyone. No. Creeps, guys or girls, that haven’t learned any self control are always horny and want to bang anything and everything. Normal guys are just like normal girls and they probably have a few people they fancy, a few people they wouldn’t mind a friends-with-benefits relationship with, and a lot of people they would never touch for a variety of reasons. I’ll grant you that some people are willing to sleep around a lot more than you are and they go far to perpetuate this though. I wonder what the statistics would look like if people were polled on how many people they would want to sleep with out of everyone they know and meet? This is entirely a guess but my assumption would be a stark drop off at the 5% mark and a rapid approach to 0 once you got past 50%. Undoubtedly someone would be on the 100% mark of wanting to sleep with everyone they know and meet but it’d be an awful lonely position.

Now the mindset that every man wants to rape you is a fair one, if only because it only takes one person out there intent on raping you to make things dangerous. I’m not saying that you should be afraid of the world, but being in the mindset that every situation can be dangerous keeps you on your toes and watching your drink for date rape drugs. No, most guys and people out in the world actually don’t wish you any harm. They are probably entirely ambivalent towards you or wish you well. Most of the time people will even stand up for you or back you up if things go bad. The problem is that there’s someone out there with unscrupulous morals and it’s hard to identify them until after they’ve struck. The only word of caution that I really want to put up about this is to not let the fear engulf you. Most of the world is full of fine people and if you’re careful that one scumbag isn’t going to ruin your life. What people do is they’ll ruin their own lives so that they never even have the chance to meet that scumbag. I’ve had friends turn down huge opportunities to advance their education, career, and other momentums in their lives because they’d be leaving their bubble and they could be raped outside of their bubble. This is crippling to them and very sad to me.

Something strange that I’ve seen is that girls will tease you to get what they want. Okay, so picture this situation. A person goes through life talking to people. This is strange, I know, but bear with me. While talking with people, they figure out that by flirting just a little bit, the person that they’re talking to will be friendlier with them. God, that’s so wrong of them, right? Now, when they do this with 99% of people, the other person gets that this is how conversation works and fun is had. Then there is the odd person out that hears a compliment and thinks that means they will get sex if they buy this person things. Ya. You’re being gross when you think you can buy sex from people. As a guy who has had a lot of gifts thrown his way, I find it outright revolting when the other person immediately cuts contact with me because they find out they’re not getting sex from me. Maybe you should have asked that person if they were single and interested before you started trying to barter sexual favors from them.

Now onto the friendzone. The friendzone is that place that people like to slink off to when it is obvious that a friend they are interested in is not interested in them. The friendzone is a make-believe place and you get there by being friends with someone and hoping for a romantic relationship when they aren’t interested in more. The reason why you’re stuck there is because they are not interested in you. But if they’re not interested in you why are they still friends with you? Not all human contact results from wanting romantic relations. You’re stuck in the friendzone because they aren’t interested in you romantically. They’re interested in having you as a friend. If you’re going to keep fawning over them like that you should discuss it with them like an adult and explain that you aren’t sure if you can maintain your friendship due to how you feel about them romantically. Otherwise it’s not the friendzone, it’s just friendship.

The last thing that is especially annoying in some relationships is that it doesn’t matter what your personality is like, your partner only needs to look for looks because they’re going to be remodeling your personality anyway. No, you’re really not. Your partner is someone. They have their own personality, habits, and behaviors. Some of these things shift on their own pretty naturally and others will alter themselves over time to fit better with those around them, namely you. However, when you try to change the core of a person to better suit you, you are being manipulative and controlling. This makes you a bad person, is making your partner unhappy, and is probably making you pretty miserable too. The solution to this is to date someone who you actually like rather than just someone who is pretty.

The things I’ve listed off are just the tip of the iceberg and I’m sure you’re familiar with some of them and a bunch of your own. When something sounds wrong, I’d really advise doing some research on it and whatever you do, don’t just discount your empirical experiences as wrong when they contradict. You’ll be a richer person for it.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

The Tales of Massius Blackiron

This is the story of a savage by the name of Massius Blackiron. Unlike most other savages who lived out in the desert, Massius had a family name. Most savages were content enough to be alive so they had no need for a lineage; it’s not like they had much of a story anyway. Not Massius though. The Blackirons were a noble family that served as Knight Errants centuries ago. Every night his grandfather would fill Massius’s head with tales of his great ancestor’s legends. How his ancestor forged a suit of armor black as midnight which could withstand even the darkest magics and could shrugs off the mightest of swords. Then there were the tales of the sword the size of a man that his ancestor wrested from the hands of a Fire Giant who ravaged the fairy lands to his dying breath. Finally there was the tale of how his ancestor slipped a scale from a wicked god, fitted a strap to it, and bore it as his shield to defeat another wicked god. Truly the Blackiron name was a glorious one.

To follow in these grand footsteps Massius taught himself the arts of blacksmithing, that he might recreate his ancestor’s adventures. He wasn’t content being a savage, you see. This was a difficult task that he perhaps wasn’t fully up to. You see, savages are not well learned people and their ability to read, write, perform math, and generally acquire the materials necessary to do these things is limited. Luckily their home camp wasn’t far from an oasis that desperate travelers would stop by. In exchange for food, directions, and a skin to carry water in, people would barter away anything, including knowledge. In fact, words were the thing that people loved to sell Massius the most.

Many travelers were just so desperate that they would tell Massius anything he wanted to hear that they make survive the harsh desert sands. This was okay. Massius was able to discern lies like no one else and could tell when his leg was being pulled. He didn’t mind and would help them regardless. It was the noble thing to do and the Blackirons needed to be noble. Of course this meant that everyone took advantage of Massius.

Through the deceptions Massius was able to discern the basics of algebra and geometry though. While he still could not read or write, the language of math was one that could be conveyed without words. Be bartered away whatever he could to get his hands on daggers and scabbards, swords and hammers, axes and gauntlets, anything. Through these instruments he deconstructed he learned that metal must be somewhat malleable and that certain angles and thicknesses were better than others for certain weapons.

When he first heard the tales of his grandfather he thought that the suit of armor must have weighed a thousand thousand stones and the sword was twice as heavy. By the time he was of age to decide his life without his family, he knew well that the sword in the story was most likely only a single stones worth of weight. He worked on a bad anvil with a worse hammer and almost no fire. His creations were poor in quality, but the artisanship was obvious. His first quest in life was to spread the name of the Blackiron family once more, that all would know Massius, and he would forge the blackest armor which could shunt the mightiest of black magics and vile fires.

The first destination for Massius from his home was into the Deviled Hills. Massius assumed he would find many mighty monsters to slay to build his name. Instead, through his journey there, he discovered how delicious their eggs were. I cannot believe how good these eggs are, he thought to himself.

That night Massius looked for a friendly bed to sleep in. He was not accustomed to the idea that all things are not shared. The first home he tried to break into threw a cleaver at his head. He assumed he had come in on them consummating. He apologized profusely. They thought him a drunk.

The second home was well lit and not so much a home as a gambling den. There he met a strange man who wished to play him at cards. Massius knew much of math and could hammer iron finer than most others, but he did not know cards. Of course Massius agreed. First the stranger stole all of Massius’s money and then he geared his eyes at his possession. Massius was having a wonderful time and these cards were tremendous fun. The stranger took notice of the insignia of the Blackiron family and became desperate. He wagered small at first, in exchange for the insignia. Massius agreed, not thinking better of it, and won by sheer luck against the man.

Furious at his loss, the man bet again, doubling his offer. He lost. Then again he doubled and his desperation turned to perspiration. He lost. He lost again. He lost until every penny he had stolen was back in Massius’s hands. He didn’t understand how he was losing, the game was rigged and Massius was an idiot regardless. It was the insignia. He was bound to the insignia and he needed it.

So gregarious was Massius that he had hardly noticed he had won back his money until the man exclaimed that he would bet his very life for the insignia. Massius was confused but agreed for the fun of it. He assumed the man was up to some game and he would take the piece and both would go home richer for the fun. The man lost again. The man began to explain that his name was Shylaxaol Hnxy and that he was a ratman forever in servitude to the Blackiron family. Why that’s my family name, Massius burst out happily.

I’m not going to turn you into my slave though. You’re a free man, ignore the bet, Massius exclaimed. Legendary men were known for slaying dragons and giants, not for taking slaves. He would not sully his reputation over something so petty. Shylaxaol insisted. Well, if you must accompany me then so be it, but you sure don’t look like a rat man, Massius chuckled. Also your name is stupid, I’m going to call you Shanky, Massius said while slapping Shanky on the back.

Shanky’s eyes gleamed as he stared at the insignia. If he could snatch it away with his paws in the night, he would be forever free.

And so Shanky tried to nick the insignia of the Blackiron family. He tried and failed night after night. It was as if any act he did to oppose the insignia was bound to fail and only further indebt him to Massius. The first attempt was a simple grab and run which failed when he overestimated his ability to jump out of three story high windows and broke his leg. Massius nursed him back to health.

The second try was to mail the insignia away by carrier from the room. The plan would have worked brilliantly had he not stolen money from the sleeping Massius in front of the carrier to pay the fee. The carrier called the town sheriff and had Shanky locked up. Massius recovered his insignia, paid for the letter to be sent, and recovered Shanky from jail saying it was all a misunderstanding.

Finally Shanky was subdued and submitted to his fate. He would be a despicable person to keep trying to steal that insignia. Instead, he would just wait for Massius to die and then take it. So it was settled and the two happy companions traveled on to the flooded bog lands of the south. It was several weeks’ travel through which they came upon a rather spectacular fair.

It was a traveling circus and Massius needed to know if he was stronger than the strong man there. The strong man was a goliath of a man and Massius thought to himself that if he couldn’t even handle a man, how was he going to fight a giants and dragons and wicked gods? The two wrestled and they wrestled, until the sun went down, till they both needed a break to eat dinner, then they continued to wrestle and pin, and by the end of it they were too good of friends to declare the other the loser. If I cannot win my contest with you by sheer strength then, I will beat you in other contests to prove my worth, Massius boasted to Tibalt the strong man.

The two agreed and were on their own. The bet was to capture the largest animal they could by only wrestling it to the ground. Massius smiled at his luck to find such a wonderful friend. Then they departed ways and said to compare the next time they met. Shanky was displeased at the longevity of his master.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

I Can't Read Sheet Music But I Pretend Anyway


I chime on my guitar
It sounds like grindcore
Rather than Mozart
A look of delight lights up in my eyes
To everyone else’s dismay

I strum on sheet metal
They wanted sheet music
I chime on and on and on
A few even stay to applaud
Thank you

Monday, April 15, 2013

My heart goes out to Boston

Whats happened to them is terrible and I hope that they catch whoever is responsible for this. I also salute everyone donating blood and caring for the victims of this terrible incident. Stay good to each other everyone.

I'm a Very Convincing Liar


I sit in perplexion at my own reflection.
When did my face change so?
What a complexion! I reply in correction.
I delude my ego’s flow.

Now for a connection to my limp erection,
This makes too much sense, oh.
Let’s look to ascension for my mind’s distention.
Lying to myself is No.

There’s too much compression of inner inflection.
Well, reap what I sow.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Mabinogi Puppeteer Guide


 I’ve never been content with any of the guides or explanations for puppetry that are currently available. Simply put, they regurgitate information that is readily available on the wiki that does not help in practical matters. Puppeteers need to know how to actually fight, defend themselves, and handle a variety of situations. Practice helps but there are core concepts that you need to understand.




One of the most difficult aspects of the puppeteer is that you need to have high spatial awareness to fight effectively. Puppeteer skills gain range incrementally as they rank up, so your exact ranges will change as you progress as a puppeteer. You have three primary ranges to keep track of: A circular radius around your player, a circular radius around your puppet, and a straight line from your puppet. Your puppet’s abilities rely on these radii in order to effectively fight.


The best advice that you will ever receive: get either rank 1 Pierrot or rank 1 Colossus right away. This will provide the largest overall bonus to your damage and make you the most effective at combat. After that focus on getting Control Marionette to rank 5 so that you have all of your puppetry skills unlocked. Act 7 and Act 6 are arguably the two best offensive skills to raise first but no one is going to yell at you for training skills that are more useful to your immediate situation.

Puppeteers benefit from both Dexterity and Strength as both add +1 max damage for every 3.5 Str or Dex and +1 min damage for every 5 Str or Dex. Your puppets receive 70% of your Damage, Critical Rate, and Balance so your Strength and Dexterity benefit your puppets as well.

Two excellent life skills to train on the side are Refining and Mining. They coincide well, don’t require too much work or AP, and add a fair bit of dexterity and strength. Combined these two skills cost 141 AP. Two excellent combat skills to train on the side are Smash and Windmill. For Humans and Giants these two skills cost 360 AP, for Elves 315 AP. As a puppeteer you will be supporting your puppet physically often and even fighting without your puppet at times, so it’s imperative to have some ability to fight. Ideally you want to have all Melee skills so work towards that goal when you have the AP to.

Puppets struggle when dealing with ranged foes. Their range and speed just cannot compete with an archer or a mage that has a chance to charge up their magic. These foes are going to get free hits on your puppet. Rather than take this quietly use your Puppet’s Snare and Wire Pull to punish these foes.

Wire Pull and Puppet’s Snare are simple enough that they do not need a long explanation. Wire Pull takes a moment to take effect and then drags the enemy to you while dealing a lot of damage. This puts the enemy into your puppet’s range. If an enemy moves out of range, the skill will go off but do nothing. Puppet’s Snare activates immediately, does damage over time, hurts your opponent, and has a long stun. Puppet’s Snare is great for leaving an opponent open for attacks from allies. Puppet’s Snare also blocks explosions from suicide bombing enemies like Sulfur Spiders and Lost Sahagin! Both skills interrupt and break through all other skills. Some enemies, such as Golems and Goblin Bandits, are immune to Puppet’s Snare. There is no comprehensive list for immune monsters.


 
Act 1: Inciting Incident

-          Can stop Smash
-          Is blocked by Defense and Counterattack
-          Utilizes the radius around the player
-          Hits 1 target
-          Stuns enemies

Act 1 teleports the puppet immediately to anywhere that its target is as long as they are in range. If an enemy reaches your puppet before your attack is launched, it can still attack your puppet. To use Act 1 properly, position your puppet behind you. This is an excellent defensive skill when fighting 1v1 and can even be used to handle multi-aggro.

( Picture Example )

Works great after a Basic Attack or Act 2. At lower ranks its stun time is inefficient at holding an enemy off, so utilize Puppet Snare or Windmill to protect your puppet and yourself.


 
Act 2: Threshold Cutter

-          Breaks Defense
-          Attacks 3 times
-          Utilizes the radius around the puppet
-          Hits 1 target

Act 2 is essentially the puppeteer’s smash. It’s slower than a player’s smash so it is only useful for 1v1 combat. If a target is hit into deadly, they will be knocked out of your attack but you will continue the animation. Should this happen, immediately unsummon your puppet to prevent damage. Act 2 is very useful for holding an enemy or boss in place.

Best used as a First Attack or if the enemy is using Defense. At lower ranks it may just be better to Smash the enemy yourself.


 
Act 4: Rising Action

-          Can stop Smash
-          Breaks Defense and Counterattack
-          Utilizes the radius around the player
-          Hits multiple targets

Act 4 is like Act 1 but with a longer cooldown time and no stun time. Act 4 tends to knock enemies back really far and will hit any enemies that are close to the player. The catch is that Act 4 has a smaller radius than Act 1, which is a big deal. At lower ranks, Act 1 is far superior to Act 4 at blocking enemies. Act 4 excels most when enemies are grouped together. Just like Act 1, if an enemy reaches your puppet before your skill goes off, the enemy will successfully attack you so it is best to position your puppet on top of yourself.

Act 4 can be used defensively similar to Act 1 or in conjunction with Act 6 for maximum damage.

( Picture Example )


 
Act 6: Crisis

-          Can stop Smash
-          Breaks Defense and Counterattack
-          Utilizes the radius around the puppet
-          Hits multiple targets
-          Can miss if targets move out of range

A more appropriate name for Act 6 is ‘The Best Setup Move in the Game.’ Act 6 is terrible for defending yourself and you have better moves for pulling enemies out of Defense or Counter. Instead, if you’re in a crowded room with enemies spread out, use it to pull enemies into one spot. Enemies hit by Act 6 will stay on the ground for a second, allowing you to use Act 4 or Windmill to great effect.

Arguably the best First Attack but you have better options for offense and defense otherwise. Be cautious if enemies are too far spread out.


 
Act 7: Climactic Crash

-          Can stop Smash
-          Breaks Defense and Counterattack
-          Utilizes a line from the puppet, limited by the player’s radius
-          Hits multiple targets
-          Can hit twice if target is knocked back into the line

Act 7 is just a beautiful attack that deals an insane amount of damage. Always try to aim Act 7 from the side of a player rather than directly in front of the player. The reason for this is to prevent the player’s radius from canceling Act 7 prematurely. Due to its charge time it’s best to use this attack as the first attack. It is advisable to unsummon your puppet after using Act 7, as Act 7 breaks your connection with your puppet, puts them a fair ways away from you, and often puts them right next to enemies.

Act 7 is a great First Attack if enemies are in a line or are simply too spread out for Act 6 to be effective. Nothing really combos well with Act 7.

( Picture Example )


 
Act 9: Invigorating Encore

-          Can stop Smash
-          Breaks Defense and Counterattack
-          Allows your puppet to fight without your control
-          Requires a full spirit gauge to use
-          Utilizes the radius around the puppet
-          Hits multiple targets

Act 9 hits and aggros all enemies around it and gives your puppet its own AI. Have a strong Act 1 and Act 2 for this as your puppet will try to use these skills on its own. While in this mode your puppet recharges its skills faster and deals more damage. You can take control of your puppet again with your Control Marionette skill while still enjoying your extra damage and faster skill recharge.

Act 9 is the most painful skill to train and actually is not great on its own unless you are effective in combat without your puppet. It’s advisable to get it early primarily for training purposes and to only start using it after you have started picking up other combat skills such as Melee or Archery. Otherwise keep your puppet on its strings with Control Marionette.

There is no appropriate or inappropriate time to use Act 9. Bring it up whenever there is a tough battle that would benefit from extra damage.

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Saturday, April 13, 2013

Hello, I'm TK and I make more noises of being in pain when my character in a video game gets hurt than when I'm actually injured.

Third Generation


Malcom laid his head on the frigid metal. His ears rang and his head pounded. You can only live in poverty for so long before you become inescapably desperate. You can only starve and scrape so much before you’ll give up. Malcom was hungry. He had been hungry for a very long time and he had watched others eat.

He needed money, was that so wrong? No one was getting hurt. No one but him.

Happy Birthday Homestuck

Not everyone is familiar with MSPaint Adventures, Andrew Hussie, or TeamSpecialOlympics but through the years this series has acted as a galvanizing force in my life and I'd like to extend a thank you and a happy birthday to the comic.






I hope that its concluding chapters serve it well and that all subsequent projects are just as successful.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Splendor

There is splendor and wonder and majesty wedged into the ever tightening grip of a father’s hug. It is an indescribable embrace of warmth that ushers in a torrent of giddy feelings; feelings of security and being wanted. These feelings are so very different from the many other things you aspire to in life. They are not fleeting and they will never betray you.